Economy of Things

The post-Thanksgiving shopping season has me thinking - What is with the American need to constantly be shopping and acquiring new things? Is it something that's truly unique to America, or is this common in other places too?

I don't *need* anything right now. I went grocery shopping, I have toiletries, clothing, and shoes that fit. I'm all good. Yet I feel this urge to check out the deals and somehow rationalize making purchases for things I want. I look around my house and it's crammed with stuff. I have too much stuff already. Why would I want to buy more? But there's always one more thing I have to have. We have a culture that promotes keeping up with the latest and greatest. That gets expensive and really cluttered. And the competitiveness! Why are people so competitive about what stuff they have?

I watched a video on facebook this morning about the environmental impacts of fast fashion. I listened to a story on IPR last week on students who gave up buying anything but basic needs for 30 days and what a challenge it was for them. I'm constantly wondering where my extra money goes, but all I need to do is look around at all the little extras that add up.

At what point in my life did I decide that spending my money on disposable things was more important than saving or traveling? I don't remember it being a conscious decision. And I'm not the only one I know who does this. Being aware is one thing, but breaking the habit is entirely another. How do I break the cycle?

I have a plan. (because I always have a plan.) First thing I will do is declutter. Get rid of all the crap I don't need. I'll start with extra paper type clutter that piles up, and move on to larger pieces, category by category. I'll end with the closet because that's always the hardest for me. Second, and really simultaneously, I will curb/end impulse purchasing. I'll do this by adding things to my amazon wish list and if I still need it in a month, I'll come back and buy it. Third, I'm going for quality over quantity - when it makes sense. Some things I don't care if it's not name brand or quality. Generic groceries never hurt nobody. But buying a pair of quality shoes is always money better spent than cheap ones. After that....I don't know. Hopefully I'll have developed good habits and won't need a plan any more.

Initiating change

People love to say oh you'll be surprised what you can do when you have a reason. No. That's bullshit. Change is hard and that kind of shit completely undermines the effort that people put in to making big changes in their life. Sure, some people do find making changes easier. They are probably really disciplined or have more willpower or just generally have their shit together. I am not one of these people. I'm barely functioning as an adult here. I don't even shower every day, how the fuck am I gonna exercise and cook a meal in the same day? I admire people that can do these things. Really, I do. It's a habit I have not been able to develop. "you'd do it if you really cared about yourself." Oh, you get to pass that judgement on me now too? Do you know what I deal with on a daily basis? Heard of the spoon analogy? Yeah, that. I only have so much to give in one day and that doesn't allow a lot of room for new stuff.

Nevertheless, I've come to the conclusion that dramatic changes are necessary in my life. Mostly out of necessity and not desire. Which makes implementing change that much harder. So where does that leave me?
I'll do what I can. I've made positive changes that have stuck, and I can do it again. Baby steps. I have an idea of what kind of things work for me and what don't. I'm open to trying and learning new things. I'm determined to find something that works. What I lack in willpower I will make up for in planning.

What's my plan? Right now, it's this:
1. Join YMCA Healthy Living Center
2. Get some physical therapy
3. Work with physical therapists to create exercise and nutrition plan
4. Stick to plan.

Yeah, the last one is the hardest one. My hope is that once I get to a place where I'm not in pain all the time, that thing in my brain will click and be like 'yeah, let's keep doing this' and it will become a habit. I don't have a thing like that right now so maybe I can grow one.