Today has been just a lovely reminder of how mundane tasks can make it miserable to be single.
I had to take my car in to get a little scrape fixed. I'd had a little bit of an issue with the insurance company previously but I thought it had been sorted out. No big deal, drop it off, have rental car come get me, and be on my way. Nope. Couldn't possibly go that smoothly. Even though I set up a specific time to be picked up and I was actually on time, rental car company was a no show. The receptionist at the body shop called and was on hold for 15 minutes before giving up. After waiting for 45 minutes, the body shop guy gave me a ride over to the rental car place. Sure enough, they're all just sitting around in there. The rental car guy did make it right and gave me a discounted rate and all that jazz, so it made me feel a little better. Then I went to get in the rental and broke three nails. Not something I'd usually care too much about, but it was just injury to insult. I was still late to work by an hour, and my patience had been thoroughly tested.
Then, I had to address getting health insurance for next year. Not an easy task on a good day, not by a long shot. I had done the research a month ago and found a great, but expensive plan. I figured out how to rearrange my budget for it and had started to cope with my new reality. Then my therapist tells me she's not covered by that company. The company says she is. I've gone back and forth with them and decided, forget it, I'm just going to go with a different health insurance company that has their shit together. Back to the marketplace I go, searching for something that covers all my doctors and that I can afford. Nothing. Not a damn thing. I see 3 medical people on a regular basis and not all of them are covered under any plan offered. Ridiculous. So I had to sit here and run the numbers, weigh the pros and cons, and figure out what I can afford on a single income budget. I finally just said fuck it and picked one of the lower deductible plans. I know most of my providers will work with me on payment plans, should it come to that. Of course, I can't get it out of the back of my head that I wouldn't have to go through any of this if I wasn't a contractor and if my employer offered insurance was subsidised. I knew what I was getting into with contracting and that the benefits suck...but man they sucked extra hard this year.
All of this, on top of raging PMS, reminded me that things would be a lot easier if I were married or even in a relationship. Nothing makes you feel more alone in the world than being abandoned when you need help. I pride myself on being self sufficient. I have dealt with worse days than this, by far. And yes I do know I have friends who would come and help, but I am a grown up and I don't need to be making my problems, their problems too. Maybe it's the time of the year or just the perfect storm of events, but adulting sucks when you don't have someone to lean on.